Love is a lot of things: Butterflies and laughter, happiness and comfort, commitment and the best friendship.
But love, alas, is not easy to find.
How do two people click and why?
In order to find some answers, we have conducted many years of psychological research.
In the process, we break down some myths and learn that certain clichés are actually true.
Green is easy if you care about the environment, but only when you are looking for something serious.
A study of 2016 found that,
Friendly purchases are considered more desirable for the long term
Long term relationships, while those who buy luxury goods are considered more attractive and popular in the short term
Term relationship.
If you try to play getA 2014 research and find that men at a speed-
Dating Experiment when a woman works hard she wants moreto-
Not interested in men's problems.
But these findings only apply in some cases.
Specifically, men must feel "loyal" to women, which in this study means that they chose her as their partner rather than being assigned to her.
It's also worth noting that although men want her more when women try to play, they don't like her that much.
Oh, love is complicated.
If your facial expression is correct, women's happiness is usually attractive.
But not so much for men.
In 2011, researchers conducted experiments on more than 1,000 people, showed them photos of members of the opposite sex and asked how attractive the people in their photos were.
The results show that when women look happy, men think they are the most attractive, and when they show pride, men think they are the least attractive.
On the other hand, women think that men are the most attractive when they are proud, and the least attractive when they look happy.
Interestingly, both men and women are attracted to shame.
If they don't know if you like them or not, then a little mystery might help you in terms of dating.
2011 of research shows that people like you more when they don't know you like them.
In this study, some women saw photos of men who saw their Facebook profiles and liked them very much.
Other women saw photos of men who saw their Facebook profile and scored them on average.
The third group of women saw photos of men on Facebook.
But the researchers did not say whether they liked them or not. (
In fact, researchers have made up all the information about who likes who. )
Sure enough, women like men best when it's not clear if men like their profile.
If you look similar enough to their current or final partners, we may all have a "type "--
But women are easier to stick to than men.
In a 2011 study, the researchers found that both men and women,
When sexual faces are very similar to current or recent partners, they are more attractive.
However, compared to women, men are less interested in faces that look similar to their current partner.
If you look for love with a lot of gestures?
Put yourself outside. Literally —
Fill the physical space around you with gestures and exaggerated poses.
In a 2016 study, the researchers observed the speed of men and women. Date.
The results show that when the partner moves his hand and arm compared to the partner is still, people say they want to see their partner again twice as likely as they are.
In the same study, researchers set up profiles for men and women on GPS
Based on the dating app, show them in inflated and shrinking poses.
Sure enough, when people take pictures in an inflated posture, they are chosen more often.
If you are, really, very similar to decades of research, then the cliché of "attraction of opposites" is completely gone.
"Partners who are similar in a wide range of personality, such as personality, are more likely to feel the same in their days --to-
Life of the day, "said Gian Gonzaga, the lead author of a study on the couple who met on eHarmony.
"This may make it easier for partners to understand each other.
"According to the work of Canadian psychologist Eric Berne, if you share three basic compatibility, the best-
Couple atmosphere matching on three different levels.
His best-selling book on this model became the best seller, the "game that people play ".
His theory draws on Freud's point of view in a way that everyone has three "self-states": parents: What you are taught children: adults: what you learn when two people are really compatible is that they connect along each layer.
Couple therapist Peter Pearson gave us a few questions to determine compatibility at each level: Parents: Do you have similar values and beliefs about the world?
Children: Have you had a good time together?
Can you be spontaneous?
Do you think your partner is sexy?
Do you like traveling together?
Adult: does everyone think each other is bright?
Are you good at solving problems together?
If you stare at each other's eyes for two minutes, the psychologist at the University of Massachusetts, Joan Kellerman, pairs 72 undergraduates who don't know each other and looks at each other's eyes for two minutes.
"They later reported that their passion for love and affection for another person has increased," Science American reported . ".
"It shows that long eye contact can connect you to someone, and can even ignite the feeling of love inside you for someone you 've never seen before.
"If you respond to their 'bid' for attention, they will do the same for your starting point --and growing —
A relationship seems to depend largely on how people take care of each other.
Psychologist John Goldman, who has studied couples for more than 40 years, says it's a "bid" issue.
For example, if a bird
The dear wife pointed out to her husband that a kingfinch had just flown to a nearby tree and he could "refuse" her by dismissing the sentence, or "turn" to her by sharing her enthusiasm.
As Emily Esfahani Smith reported in the Atlantic, the results of the "bid" were shocking: in the Goldman's marriage study, the couple who divorced six years later had 33% of the time to have a "turn" reply, and the couple who were still together had 87% of the "turn" time.
If you smell research from the University of Southern California on women who are ovulating, some people prefer t-
Shirts worn by men with high testosterone levels.
This matches other hormones.
Instinctive basis: Some women also prefer men with strong chin lines when ovulating.
If you look the opposite of them
St. College of Sexual parents
Andrews psychologist David Perret and his colleagues have found that some people are attracted to people with the same hair and eye colors --
Sex parents, and the range of ages they see at birth.
"We found that women born with" old "parents (over 30)
The impression of youth is small and more attractive than women with "young" parents to male face age cues (under 30)
"The author wrote.
"For men, the preference for female faces is affected by the age of the mother, not the age of the father, but only the long-term --
Term relationship.
"If you take care of a dog in 2014 of the experiments, 100 Israeli women will read the episode about men.
Whenever a dog-raising Man appears in the story, the woman thinks the man is more suitable for a long time
More important partner than cad without dog.
The researchers concluded that having a pet means that you are nurturing and able to grow for a long time
Commitment of time limit.
It can also help you look more relaxed, approachable and happy.
Not a pet?
The good news is that being with a dog can make you look better for a date.
In a study of 2008, 20-year-
The old man approached hundreds of women and asked about their phone numbers.
He is more likely to score when he carries a dog.
If you are the same or not so good
In a study of 1996, each participant was assessed as physically attractive and then randomly assigned to another participant.
Participants were then asked to perform a satisfaction score on their appointment.
More attractive participants are more stringent in their judgment --
Even they are equally attractive.
The better people look, the less satisfied they may be.
But it only applies to people who are really attractive.
According to the hypothesis of matching, for the rest of us, we are more likely to love those who are as attractive as we are.
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