As people, we like to focus a lot of our brain power on simple speculative boning art.
If tomorrow's human ability to think constantly can be used as an energy source, we will
The entire galaxy is firing an East rocket, drunk with the F-on the face of the word-
There's a bomb in a week.
Sex toy companies also cannot exempt from this rule, which is why they occasionally get carried away by their machines and start making technically impressive but with little resemblance to anything that is blurry
Or, for that matter, reason. (
As you might guess, everything is NSFW from here on. )5The R-
In the first part of this column, I discussed a stupid
It looks like the butt appliance that is specially designed to slowly polish the chicken.
Even today, I think it's still the most unnecessary weird item on the list, and given that the article also includes a huge artificial vagina for your face, what is this saying.
Of course, this vacuum cleaner/Sander Whirlpool is just part of a larger product range.
That is the part.
The grumpy old uncle R-
1, get the design aesthetic from the sexiest appliance: Blender. Yep, .
Here's a guy showing this on the rubber King: like any of my colleagues
The worker who bought my DIY firenado kit at the last company picnic can prove that I am not the best person to promote product safety.
However, even if I feel like something specifically designed for dong contact (dongtact)
There are at least two requirements: 1)
The only settings that the product should not look and look like it is available are "sand circumcision" and "complete transition surgery", and 2)
If this is not possible, it should at least be a bit intuitive to use.
Guess R-
1A10 cyclone is executed on the front of the latter? Holy s**t!
This is not an easy task. to-
Using sex toys, this is what Xiong Griers brought to the nuchuk Wolverine in the wilderness.
Still, in a way, I'm on R-1.
In such a world, whenever someone kicks their toes, people start slapping each other with lawsuits, and there is a company after something that can make mud for meat, it's nice to make a clear one. you can put a dick in it.
It takes the ball, even if the ball is said for a hellish journey, if a wrong hair is caught by the machine of this thing.
RockBox 2 may not be the actual origin of.
But hey, take a look at this thing and look at the assumption above doesn't seem to be the most obvious explanation: the main selling point of RockBox 2 seems to be its crazy power.
It is promoted as a "tool of sexual power" and boasts that the value of sexual power is 5,000 rpm.
Interesting comparison: your average electric sander rarely exceeds 4,000 RPM.
Why do you have sex?
Is this too powerful?
Because sometimes your genitals don't represent what you think, that's why.
Raise your hand, if you wish: How many times have you been involuntarily tempted to burn so much that you have seriously considered bringing power tools to your ghost area? Five? Fair enough.
However, RockBox 2 provides a different, more worrying question for your experimental mind: how many times do you have enough hunger and thirst to consider using 5,000 rpm hell in yourmachine?
If your answer is anything but "divine, what? !
"Please check if there are stupid adjectives and terrible error messages BDSM in your immediate environment, as you may be a role in E. L. James novel.
3 my little secret talk vibrator 2004, Binky, Moe, Jackalope and Frank's bravequartet introduced the rabbit vibrator to the audience, a good friend of your mom.
A suspect. looking (
But I was told I agree.
Looks like two things. pronged, latex-
There are coated workshop tools for pink rabbit ears as this is the world we live in.
But the atmosphere of the rabbit is very effective, it becomes very popular and good for everyone (
More satisfying than in the past for many people).
Destroying features as obvious as a rabbit requires real dedication or a lot of undiluted madness.
We may never know which of these roads is responsible for this, so I'm just assuming that some sex toy designers have stumbled upon a hard-shell, questionable organic
Looking at the mural in an ancient sanctuary, staring at it for a moment, then his motor function was hijacked by the indifferent abyss outside our world, walking away with a firm belief, that is, the sex toy should use the robot to monologue your crotch.
It is impossible to convey in writing the true splendor of this ever-changing personal space intruder.
For the love of all the gods in boning, if you only watch one video today, let it be this video.
If for some reason you can't look at it, it's a vibrator that runs on a table, lazily whisper to you with all the enthusiasm you remember from the dubbing of the 1990 video game, although accompanied by the sound of slapping the motor, it is no different from the sound of the washing machine.
Overall, the audio feels like you're being bombarded with a 1950 sex bot/laundromat, which I think may be sexy, but seems a bit special for mass production.
Of course, other voice tracks can be downloaded (
I suspect this is not good at all)
Or have the loved one record a message there in case you like the robot sexy --
Say your crotch
Spoiler: you won't.
It seems strange that the head of the talk is no longer available.
This is actually a shame, because although it is useless as a sex toy, it has endless value as a novelty gift.
Just set the volume to 10 to track, let's say, to see if you can't hurt friends forever. 2A Two-
As a tired and tired internet user, there is no doubt that you will sometimes encounter the story of the f * k chair.
In theory, of course, this is a noble concept: "Hey, you!
Are you like a hole?
Sit here! Infinite sex.
"In practice, however, these recliners with dildos stretch out like the most wrong attempt in the world to play a heavy hit game --a-
That's the sexy mole. But that's OK.
It's a scientific fact that stupidity and sex do not rule out each other, we know, considering the opposite
Vaxxers tend to have children.
Just when someone looked at a stupid thing carefully and said, "Hey, I should have done a Ferrari version of the car at all!
"I began to doubt humanity.
There's $11,600 here. the-s**t-this-
In many ways, ordinary sex toys can only dream of where to arrive.
Unfortunately, most of these places are Crazy Mountains and ridiculous valleys.
You will notice that it is not designed for someone. (
If you want to know the logistics: one lies down and the other crosses the heights.
No, they can't touch each other at all. )
None of these awesome technological feats, however, tried to answer the question, which is: why?
Although they may be ridiculous and interesting, I can see a single point
Electric Love chair.
If you have money to burn money and want to buy one, give you more power.
But, assuming you didn't make highly specific niche porn during your break, why would you want a chair that fits two people?
Of course, sometimes two people may want to have it at the same time, but even so, why is your first (or any)
The process of action is to light up a huge Dick furniture, the design of which prevents intimacy between the two?
If you are so indifferent to sex, why bother another person first?
Even if you manage to reach a situation like this:
Fuckair is the only logical course of action, how do you introduce it in a lawsuit?
Introducing sex toys into the agenda is an art, exchanging a few words, reaching out to get the drawer of the bedroom is one thing, stopping is another, walking to that huge thing in the corner of the room, do this: without maced, it is impossible for the healthy bonin conference to continue after that.
1 actual electric tool sex toy you see, we started this journey with the tools of strength, God bless, we will end it with electric tools.
You know what you signed and it's too late to look back now.
As most long-cracked readers know, world history can be divided into two parts: a period of time before my columnist Felix Clay, and the confusion that has been presided over since.
But while most people have responded to the news that people are actually cutting their genitals completely with misused electric tools, which is exactly what one would expect, but some of us are "good!
A business idea!
Then they attacked Etsy.
Friend, that's why the power tool sex toy accessory is now one thing.
Yes, some assholes are actually making Bunning adapters for electric drills and sawmill with names like and.
At this point, I usually try to make the most of a terrible thing and put in a lot of DIY-
Theme masturbation jokes
Even so, however, is not a real choice.
You will notice that most of these tools are specially designed, so if you point the extra goals to yourself, they are very difficult to operate, which means, again, you almost need to give control of the action to someone else.
How many of you trust enough to bring a black Decker to your pelvic area?
Your other half? Chad? Your mom? Nope. Also, eww.
No one in the world is trustworthy, even if it is someone who is passionate about advising you. .
I'm not saying everyone needs this.
That's terrible.
Each of us needs to find something of our own and do our best to use it, as long as there is no specified safety word, it will not hurt anyone.
But if you need a damn reciprocating saw to do it, you may have done something wrong.