On a recent Friday night, a small group of people lined up in the slag.
The untitled block corridor in West 26 Street club Paddles.
Two men in their 60 s are discussing real estate, and several women in their 20 s are sending at the end-
Text messages a minute before the next two flights to underground space.
Paddles is not another stylish table tennis mall, but a "safe space" to achieve erotic fantasies, especially BDSM (
Slavery/discipline, domination/submission, abuse/masochism), OTK (over the knee;
In other words, spanking)
And the value of the alphabet soup, until recently, the mainstream world has basically not noticed and discussed other sexual behaviors.
But partly because of the great success of E. L.
James's trilogy of Fifty Shades of Grey (
Publishers Weekly reported that 65 million copies were sold worldwide
Those who are attracted to the sexual exchange of power and may call themselves odd find themselves in the spotlight as never before.
In February, Voros Cristina, director of the twist documentary, and James Franco premiered at the Sundance Film Festival. (
The Hollywood Reporter called it "a friendly film about many seemingly reasonable people doing horrible things to each other in front of the camera for money. ”)
Phrases like "safe words" are increasingly becoming part of popular culture;
In IFC's Portlandia, a sensitive character says her (“cacao”)
Even when her boyfriend was sleeping
On Showtime's Shameless show, Joan Cusack plays a quirky mother trying to manage the passion and expensive toy collection of her young lover. And some real-Relatives of life
Some of them have stolen the title of "abnormal", just as gay activists control "gay --
I wonder if they are approaching an era like Los Angeles. G. B. T.
In their former communities, they can come out and start a more open and integrated life.
But it seems that time has not come yet.
Although Harvard University Munch is a social group of about 30 students focused on eccentric interests, the university officially acknowledged this in December, its 21-year-
The old founding president asked not to reveal his identity. (
"I'm interested in politics," he said . ")
He said that he had "encountered zero negative reactions on campus" and received messages from alumni, expressed solidarity and hoped that similar groups would be available when they were undergraduates. A 20-year-
Old College students and self
Describing Long Island's submissive, she only asked to call her by her middle name Mary, who said she was deprived of ownership by her parents when her partner's lover described her as odd.
"They are right next to them," Mary said . ".
"I think they are worried that I will get hurt.
She saw how to tell people how to get complicated.
"It's like being gay because it's a sexual preference, but it's not like being gay because it's not the person you love, it's the way you love it," she said, adding, "It's a bit different to come out.
Still, she said, "I haven't found anyone of my age who thinks I'm weird or doesn't want to be a friend.
However, for those who find hostility in the wider world, there is a lot of welcoming circumstances to find.
Inside the paddle, there is a black wall and a mural with a cartoon woman's thigh on it
High red boots standing on the back of a man with high heels on his heels.
The bar is called "whip and lick coffee" and does not sell alcohol except coffee, soda and Italian ice, giving an unexpected feeling of health.
Opposite it, the paddle, whip flo and other equipment for sale are on display.
The various corners and gaps of the club include rigs, chains, cages and benches where participants can pair and play any "scene" they agree ".
Hidden in a room, a man and a woman are sharing a fire scene, which includes a fuel aid placed on the strategic point of the woman's body and ignited in a brief dramatic explosion.
In another place, decorated like a dungeon, in the middle
A middle-aged man was beaten.
The bare back of the elderly woman has only one tail.
The paddle does not allow sexual intercourse and oral sex, but many take off their shirts and mix them comfortably without any obvious selfconsciousness.
The crowd is mixed.
Older, multi-ethnic, friendly and optimistic mood.
If you ignore the occasional screams and groans and take off exotic gear, this can be a party for any hobby group, and most of the participants use aliases despite the photo being banned.
"One of the five people who came to our event these days was a newbie, and they said they had read Fifty shadows, which triggered something they wanted to explore, A person who claimed to be 49-year-old Victor said that he worked in the marketing department and was the founder of DomSubFriends, who organized a BDSM education group on jealousy that night.
"At first I thought, 'they took my BDSM,'" he said of newbies '. ".
"But then I thought, 'No, more people are enjoying it.
Paedophile shops like the purple passion/DV8 on West 20 Street have also been visited more, selling ropes, paddles and other accessories familiar to BDSM enthusiasts.
"We always have people coming in to look for exploration, but now there are more people trying and trying," said Lolita Wolfe, who works behind the counter and teaches beginners courses like rope binding, and how to play needles in the store.
For those who are not ready to explore kink in public, dating sites like Alt.
Com and social networks like FetLife allow them to do this from their own home or mobile devices.
FetLife, founded in 2008 and headquartered in Vancouver, BC, added 700,000 members last year, with a total membership of more than 1.
7 million, according to Susan Wright, the site's community manager and a spokesperson for the National Liberal Union, a Baltimore-based non-profit organization, dedicated to raising awareness of weirdos, defend their rights.
It is understandable that eccentric people will seek anonymous shelters from the internet;
Their preferences can be a problem in custody battles (
Even if both parents participated)
Or causing unemployment.
Valerie White is the founder of the sexual freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund, a non-profit advocacy and education organization based in Sharon.
To a man, his predecessor.
When the wife learned through his blog about his interest in eccentric sex, she tried to change the terms of their co-custody (
Final agreement between the two sides). Ms.
Wright said the alliance receives calls from 600 individuals and organizations seeking help each year.
The Alliance, founded in 1997, lobbied the American Psychiatric Association to update the definition of certain sexual behaviors for pathological diagnosis in the diagnostic Statistics Manual.
"Apart from the fact that we like weird sex, we are very ordinary people," she said . "
Wright, 49, is a science fiction writer and has been married for 19 years.
"We should not be discriminated against.
The organization also maintains a "kink-
Be aware of "clinicians and mental consultants.
Some therapists said, "you have a problem. this is a pathology . "
Charley Ferrer, a clinical psychologist in Manhattan and Staten Island, is the author of BDSM: Naked Truth. ” (
Christian Gray, the main character of "Fifty shadows", reinforced this perception. )
"Most people think BDSM is abusive: 'How can you tell someone to beat you and be happy with it?
Domestic violence, dominance and submission are completely different.
Guy Sanders, 53, is a retired E-Commerce man. M. S.
Eulenspiegel Society is a group that claims to be "the oldest and largest BDSM support and education group in the country" whose workers and speakers have been in about five years
"When I told my colleagues
"The workers, who portray the photos submitted by the leather chapter and men, actually, there are a variety of activities under the BDSM umbrella," he said . ".
"I happen to work in an industry where you work with a partner and you talk about everything.
Your lives are in the hands of each other.
Your relationship is good, so it's not hard.
If you are a police officer or a teacher, all someone has to do is make a charge andpage news.
"Many in the Kink community believe that education is an important part of breaking people's assumptions and creating best practices among participants.
The Eulenspiegel Association provides seminars and demonstrations on activities from canoeing to water surfing (
"Bring the infamous torture technology from Gitmo to your dungeon," the organization's website said".
Many people believe that the openness and negotiation required by their preferences is far from encouraging them to be cruel at times, but instead making their relationship stronger and more respectful.
"You started talking about sex and security from the start --
"Let's go," said Cheri, 47. year-
A divorced old mother of an adult child who works in the entertainment industry but does not go out to work and asks to identify her with only her nickname.
If you see Cheri sitting in a tea room on the slopes of Brooklyn Park, sipping a cup of lemon Yangju like she did in a recent interview, you wouldn't have known she would have called her a young man, "Sir", or he called her "pet" and she shared the detail with a girly smile.
She described herself as a feminist, "a very strong person in my career," but she said she found comfort in getting along with it.
"I need to know what you like and you know what I like: I need to know your limits and you need to know my limits," she described her interactions with complementary partners
"I think in this way of life, because of this kind of communication, relationships develop faster," she said . ". Dr.
Ferrer says her BDSM clients tend to be better at this kind of communication.
Some couples draft contracts, some things. L.
James dramatized in Fifty Shades.
"In the world of vanilla"
You wait for your partner to screw up before you make the rules, says Ferrer.
"In a dominant/submissive relationship, you are always talking and communicating," she added . ". “In the D-
In American communities, there is such a high level of communication that the couple lasts much longer.
Bring Deb and Sara (
Mike used to be)
The first date of a Brooklyn couple went very well and they ended up checking the chains and ropes at Home Depot and playing in the Mike van in the parking lot.
13 years later, they got married and said they were exploring all aspects of their sexuality together, adding electricity, knives and other potentially dangerous tools to what some call "edge" games, and activities such as ABDL (
Baby adult, diaper lover)
This does not necessarily fit the title of BDSM.
Deb, 55, said she is close to Sara, 41, and they no longer use safe words: they can perceive the boundaries of others by breathing and non-verbal cues.
When she was playing with others, Deb was a lifelong fan of the Mets and she used the phrase "Yankee rules", which she could only say under extreme coercion.
But whether or not Deb, Sara, Cheri, Marie and others will come out completely comfortably remains to be answered.
"When I talk to people about going out, I say that you have to really think about the fact that once you go out, it doesn't matter even if you don't do these things anymore, lee Harrington, a 33-year-old sex educator and writer, said (
With Molina Williams.
"Play well with others: you discover, explore and navigate live guides to kinks, leather and BDSM communities. ”Mr.
Harrington has chosen to live as openly as possible since a underage girl in Seattle.
He lives like a man now, and he says he even takes his mother to some kinks.
He also believes that odd people will be more widely accepted, but he is not sure if this will happen soon.
"I look forward to it," he said . "
"Because of fifty shadows, I think it will be tomorrow? No.