When Spencer and Romi Chandra Herbert announced the arrival of their first child on Valentine's Day 2017, Chandra hebertz talked about challenges, threats and the most important love, the story spread quickly.
Photo of the couple on B's bedC.
Spencer's women's hospital with baby Dev on her chest is a Valentine's Day gift the world needs --
The picture of love and happiness transcends the traditional obstacles in all aspects. A gay, mixed-
In a women's hospital, a newly married couple is lying in bed. They are photos of a modern family.
The excitement and joy of their family and the public let the couple spend their time with Dev-
And sleepless nights.
But there are also death threats.
"They have found us.
They sent us hate messages, death threats.
We have to go to the RCMP.
It's bad, "Spencer said in the West End apartment on a sunny morning a week after Dev was born.
Vigilant, his black eyes were wide open, and devlison was on the leg of his other father, Romi.
In the New World, Dev seems comfortable.
He could have looked up.
He is strong and perfect in every way.
The arrival of the developers was an unexpected gift: after years of waiting for their adoption, their friend Amanda offered to bring them a child.
Romi and Lil Clow low stared at Dev to tell his birth story, but the tone became serious as they recalled a disturbing message on Facebook after Dev was born:"
"You, you are the first person to be culled with a picture of our family," Spencer said . ".
"Because of the work we do, we have received death threats before.
It's a bit more terrible this time.
"We have a child," Romi said . ".
"People are encouraged by the whole phenomenon of Trump," Spencer said . ".
Spencer Chandra Herbertholding baby)
On February 14, husband Romi Chandra Herbert announced the birth of their son Dev Juno Chandra Herbert.
PNGSpencer is MLA in Vancouver
West Endand, an outspoken human rights advocate, has long lobbied to bring gender identity and expression to B. C.
The human rights code, which was revised in July 2016, added these protection measures.
Romi is an advocate of social justice.
It aims to unite the profits of people from different backgrounds.
Romi said that when he first came out, he experienced anger and even hatred towards him, saying that he was used to it.
But over the years, he has developed his own community and friends, and his sense of security has increased.
His family has been supporting him.
"I kinda forgot that we didn't get a good respect in some other parts of the community.
"There are still haters outside," he said . ".
But in the room, there was nothing but lift.
"It's great to see people who don't know us defend us online," Spencer said . ".
"It does help people to see that there are many different types of families, and the most hateful and terrible ones are often people who don't have that experience.
"We saw someone on the street saying to us, 'Wow, we never thought this would happen and you did a great job.
There are different kinds of families out there, which makes it real and normal.
The journey of the Chandra Heber also highlights the challenges faced by those who are trying to build a different family.
The couple got married in 2010 and has been trying to adopt for many years and has accepted all options, including children in private, international and ministry care.
Herbert wanted to make it easier for all the waiting parents to complete the process.
One of the biggest challenges, Herbert said, is that each type of adoption is handled by a different institution, and each type of adoption requires different paperwork, interviews, family research, and fees.
This means that applying for more than one type of adoption can be financially prohibitive for waiting for parents.
"We want B. C.
It will move in the direction of cooperation between public and private adoption systems.
"Simplify the system
He believes that this will help to remove prejudice against children in the care of the ministry.
"The parents who are waiting just want to be parents.
Let's create a set of paperwork and open it.
"At 2014, people got a call they wanted: there was a baby.
Spencer and Romi agreed, but another call came a few days later.
"A relative of the baby found out that we were the same --
Sexual partner, said no way, "said Spencer.
"It's heartbreaking.
"After the story of this loss was made public, the chances of adoption became slim.
"Maybe people are worried that if this happens again, we will be blunt because a lot of people are very upset that homophobia seems to play a role in stopping adoption," Spencer said . ".
Then, all of a sudden, atext came from their friend Amanda, who provided the couple with a child.
They were shocked and moved.
They did some research, visited the fertility clinic, consulted a lawyer, and spoke everything thoroughly.
It is not legal to pay for surrogacy, but it is possible to pay for pregnancy-related expenses.
They are ready to move forward and reach a legal agreement to protect everyone --
First of all, Amanda and, of course, Dev.
"It makes sense.
"In some cases, mothers are forced or feel they don't have enough information to participate in the process," Romi said . ".
The couple prefer to keep the details of the concept private.
"A lot of people want to know the details, so we said that if you tell us how you got pregnant, we will tell you how we got pregnant," Spencer said . ".
The couple didn't tell their parents until Amanda was three months pregnant.
"They have a lot of problems," Romi said . ".
"We answered some of them.
Some we can't answer.
They support me very much.
"We 've been together for 17 years and it's very helpful," AddsSpencer said . ".
The couple met 19-year-old Spencer and 22-year-old Romi on Vancouver Beach.
"We talked about family on our second date," Romi said . ".
B changes. C.
The family law, which came into effect on March 2013, makes it easier for parents of babies born through surrogacy. If a legal pre-
The concept agreement is in place and the intended parents in the statement are more important than biology.
Neither Spencer nor Romi had to adopt Dev.
They only need to register him as a parent on the birth certificate.
The couple said the hospital was very welcoming.
"We have a room next to Amanda's house," Spencer said . ".
"This is not our room," explained Romi . ".
"That's Dev's room.
He is a patient.
We have to be with him.
"Right next door, Amanda is recovering and Romi and Spencer can be with Dev without disturbing her.
Her privacy is critical to them, but they plan to be open to Dev's unique way of coming to the world.
Although Amanda was unable to comment, both Romi and Spencer said she gave them a gift and they would always thank her.
"She gave us a gift bigger than any of us, a gift for the future, a gift for the family, a gift of love, a gift of hope.
We are not just friends now.
"We are a family," Spencer said . ".
Dryan @ postmedia
ComLaw reform is Barbara Findlay, a gay family lawyer (
She does not capitalize her name)
Dealing with all kinds of families
In particular, to ensure the success of gay couples, she suggested that legal agreements be signed in advance.
"Before you start, figure out your legitimate rights and duties," Findlay said . " Findlay wrote a guide called "choose a child.
Changes in the family law have improved the situation of gay families, but gay men who want to have third-party children still face obstacles that heterosexual couples do not have.
Findlay explained that if a gay couple wants to fertilize a pregnancy carrier at a fertility clinic, sperm is considered a "donor" sperm and must be frozen and sent to Toronto for infectious disease testing, and was isolated for six months.
"This is a discriminatory clause," Findlay said . ".
"They don't let straight men have sperm tests before they have children --
Act
Prior to the 2013 revision of the family code, the parent indicated on the birth certificate was "evidence of parental identity" but not evidence. Now, in B. C.
, Those on the birth certificate named as parents are parents, "for all purposes", including the estate, but the name on the birth certificate should be stated in the legal agreement before pregnancy
"The Family Law now regards its organizational principles as intent, not biology.
"The parents of the baby are people who intend to be the parents of the baby, not necessarily those who are physically the parents of the baby," said Findlay . ".
This means that for lesbian couples, the sperm donation agreement and
Non-born adoption
No more pregnant mothers.
As long as you write it on paper first.
It is also possible if a couple wants to involve donors as parents. In B. C.
Up to five people can be named parents on the birth certificate, and all five parents have the right and responsibility for that child.
A gay couple needs an egg and a pregnant carrier.
Sometimes, eggs come from the same woman carrying eggs --but not always.
Paid surrogacy is not allowed in Canada, a provision that helps eliminate exploitation of economically disadvantaged women.
This usually creates another barrier for gay men who have to find people who are willing to donate eggs and who are doing the carrier of pregnancy.
In order to have a legally viable surrogacy arrangement in Canada, future parents and pregnant women must sign a surrogacy agreement before pregnancy and a surrender agreement after pregnancy.
If there is a change in the heart of the pregnancy carrier, the waiting parent must go to the court to request the declaration of parental identity.
If an agreement is signed before pregnancy, it is likely that the pregnant carrier will not be declared a parent, Findlay said.
To read more about the options for different parenting arrangements, visit www. barbarafindlay. com.
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