I don't envy my parents.
Don't get me wrong.
The vitality, passion, wisdom and insight of teenagers often surprise me.
Whenever I am with them, I feel at ease with our future.
I was also keenly aware of how fast I became "old.
Read more: Well, let's talk, says the 26-year-old Kiwi singer, teens may think there are 1 feet in my grave.
Fortunately, however, as one of the original digital Aborigines, the teen world is not entirely new.
I also chat with friends online, post photos on social media, text messages until my thumb is hurt.
I was also forced to send sexy selfies, know where to find porn when I was a teenager, and know a lot more about sex than my poor parents thought.
At that time, we knew how to beat any websitters, how to hide our geographic location to access anything we wanted, how to create fake accounts with fake names and burner email addresses, roaming on an almost invisible network.
It was in 2005.
Imagine what teenagers can now reach.
Last year, when I started doing a little thing called # MyBodyMyTerms, I realized that many parents didn't know what their children were doing online.
I take it for granted that people know what the word "revenge porn" means.
I think all New Zealand students have access to decent sex education.
I think most parents know that online porn is as easy to find as typing "porn" on Google.
I was wrong in all aspects.
It sounds like a terrible state in a sense.
But not needed.
After all, knowledge is power. communication is the easiest way to teach knowledge.
If we join these points and face the reality, we can empower our teenagers and keep them safe.
While this may sound uncomfortable, it is far better to provide adolescents with comprehensive information about sex and sexuality than to try to shelter them.
Researchers have established a series of evidence that comprehensive sex education is relevant to better outcomes for young people, including interesting findings, and students who receive extensive sex education are more likely to delay their first sexual behavior.
While it may be tempting to insist on denying or deliberately ignoring teens and sex, it won't do anything good for teens.
It's not as simple as teaching teenagers to use contraception, avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (
I'm not even going to talk about the idea of abstinence --until-
Because it's ridiculous, can be said to be a dangerous marriage).
When sex is almost always inherent in society, we first think of teaching teenagers about biology and medicine of sex, which surprised me.
It's important to teach teenagers how to use condoms properly, but it doesn't give them any insight into how to build a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
Nor did it start deconstructing pornography --
The idea of knowing that anal sex is an expectation that girls should take oral sex as the standard of the course, that male happiness is more important than female happiness, or that it is acceptable to hit your partner.
It does not address the fundamental fact that consent is not without "no ".
Although the society does not want to consider the mechanism of adolescent sex, how can we expect them to instinctively figure out what is good and what is bad in sex when they are the easiest to reach (and most-viewed)
Is online porn a reference?
If you read the last paragraph in a state of shock, you may not be alone.
The reason why I don't envy teenage parents is that the world in which young people live today is so different from the world in which parents grow up.
Incorporating the prevalence of alcohol and drugs into the equation, it may be a different planet.
Teenagers will always be teenagers and curiosity is a completely normal part of growing up.
But the environmental impacts that today's young people absorb on a daily basis are very different from those faced by past generations.
Young people do not become "predators" in a vacuum ".
When it comes to online media, many parents frankly say they don't know how the parts of the Internet work, let alone what you can access if you know where to find it. The solution?
It is not a futile campaign to abolish pornographic content, nor to wrap teenagers with tech cotton wool.
Nor is it for schools to decide which part of the voluntary sex education curriculum they have enough courage to teach.
Before our government takes the courage to implement comprehensive compulsory education
Given that we have the OECD's most serious statistics on sexual violence, you would think it's a no. brainer -
Parents need to stand up.
It's time to break the rose. tinted glasses.
Teenagers are watching porn and having sex.
I know, I'm one of them.
Empower young people with skills;
Social, practical, psychological, and emotional navigation in sex, sex, and relationships, no matter how embarrassing, is an important part of protecting their safety.
Although it looks basic, actually chatting with teenagers is a good start --
Just don't let them sit down and listen to "talk "(omg mortifying).
Create an environment where they feel comfortable asking questions without fear of judgment or punishment.
Get in touch with them often about what's going on in their lives and you may find enough opportunities to discuss.
As for the embarrassment, they won't make it big if you don't make it big.
Worse: face an uncomfortable topic, or send your teen into the world without knowing what consent means?
I know which one I will choose.