My boyfriend asked if we could try anal sex.
I don't like it, but I agree, assuming he will do it to me.
Imagine my shock when I realized he wanted me to do it to him.
I refused, and he never mentioned it again.
I'm afraid he's gay.
Should I finish everything? Should we even consider trying it if I don't?
One of the main myths about anal sex is that only gay or bisexual men like anal sex.
While some gay/bisexual men like anal sex, not everyone likes it.
Some people dislike it very much.
Trying anal sex doesn't make a straight man gay or bisexual, and it doesn't necessarily mean that someone is questioning their sexual orientation.
There are a lot of men who describe themselves as straight and they also like anal sex-because it feels good.
I don't think he wants to try anal sex other than he wants to experience something enjoyable.
If you are anxious about his sexuality, loyalty, or the safety of your relationship, this may require a more frank conversation with him to determine what you all want.
My ex wanted to keep in touch with me but I was sad.
Can we be friends?
"I don't like oral sex but don't know how to tell him", I'm afraid of the family of my fiance. What can I do?
If you are happy, I don't think his sharing of personal wishes will lead you to an end to the relationship.
Do you know why you reacted so strongly to this?
I notice that you have said that you may try to get him to infiltrate you even though you don't look very enthusiastic.
It may be that anal sex is not attractive to you. That's fine.
Maybe you think it's dirty, sinful, painful, smelly or unsanitary.
Or maybe it's not your business.
There's not necessarily a reason.
While it's positive to explore new things, you shouldn't feel like you have to make yourself do something you don't like.
Maybe it does appeal, but you're not sure how to enjoy it.
Maybe you are surprised by his new situation and don't know what to do next.
If you don't know much about anal sex, you're not sure about anal sex (
Or what you know is basically negative)
Resources at the end of this reply may be helpful.
Of course, your boyfriend might think it's not a big deal.
This may have been mentioned casually by him.
The fact that he has not been asked again can confirm this, or it may be that he is ashamed and embarrassed of your reaction and does not dare to ask again.
If you are sure how important this is to him, you may all feel better.
Maybe you can say you're surprised, but you do want to hear how he feels right now.
He might prefer to write down his feelings rather than discuss them in person --to-face.
No matter what you decide to try, communication is still the key.
So think about the way you can communicate to each other what you might want to explore;
Something that feels good;
How to say what you don't like without the other person feeling bad or being rejected.
Other than thinking about other ways to experience happiness.
If you feel this is something you can try together, then you can ask him what he is looking forward.
This may include: he may have fantasies of being infiltrated by other men-which may indicate more of his sexual orientation, but it may just be a fantasy, not necessarily something he wants to go further.
If he does, then you and he may want to renegotiate the relationship and decide if this is still what you want.
In this case, it may be helpful to treat you personally or in a common relationship.
The following resources outline a pleasant anal game agreed upon by both parties, including: how to discuss what you want to try and communicate what feels good (or not)
Important questions about lubrication, hygiene and safe use of toys.
Male anal sex ultimate guide male anal sex DVD guide male anal sex ultimate guide if you still feel uncomfortable with this issue then you don't have to make yourself anal or do this to him.
However, if you think it might be worth exploring
You all have the right to stop if you are uncomfortable (
Physically or mentally)-
Then, talking together and using the resources above can make you gain something in yourself and help you enjoy another aspect of your sex life.
Petra Boynton is a social psychologist and sex researcher working on international health care, research and interpersonal relationships.
She is the painful aunt of the telegram.
Follow her on Twitter @ drpetra.
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