In this week's episode of Bachelor, contestant Raven revealed some of the main facts before her overnight date with Bachelor Nick: she only slept with a man and she never had a climax.
Nick was also shocked when he was mature enough to accept the news.
But for many women watching the show, Raven's confession may not be so surprising.
This is because, according to a family planning survey, 15% of women have difficulty reaching orgasm, and 10% have never had orgasm in sex.
In addition, according to a new study in the sex act archives, 52,588 adults were surveyed, and only 65% of heterosexual women said they could always reach orgasm.
On the other hand, 95% of straight men say they always reach Big O.
Some people call it the climax gap.
While this may be common, women who strive to reach orgasm tend to remain silent about it.
"There's a lot of shame around this, and there's not a lot of information about how common it is," said Emily Morse, a sex and relationship expert and podcast host of sex with Emily.
Many women never ask for help to find out the root cause of the problem, both emotionally and physically, and eventually they feel anxious and inadequate.
The good news is that the body can learn how to achieve orgasm.
Here, sexual health experts outline the steps to prepare for orgasm.
It's important to be aware that your climax is your responsibility to control the bedroom, Morse said.
Some women believe that it is up to their partner to get them to orgasm, and that this happens magically when they go to bed together.
"This will not happen," Morse said . ".
"You have to be an expert in your own body first, learning how to touch yourself, where to touch yourself, feel good, and how to get yourself to orgasm.
"Related: Sex affects 8 Ways of masturbation, masturbation in your brain
It's time to explore your body, says Morse, instead of clinging to orgasm.
"Put your hands all over your body, your nipples, and really find your sexy area.
Don't forget your clit.
Lauren Stryker, MD, author of Sex Rx: hormones, says health and your best sex life, many of her patients who worked hard to reach orgasm never realized that orgasm was most likely to be achieved through a clit stimulus.
If you're still a little unsure of what to do there, Morse suggests starting with "Touch it with a light stroke" and then "play around with different pressures, different speeds, and different movements "until you find your sweet spot.
Related: masturbation should be 6 reasons for your self
Some auxiliary toys may help you to get beyond the edge of your climax.
"Many studies have shown that the use of a vibrator can increase the likelihood of orgasm," said the doctor. Streicher.
She also pointed out that toys are completely normal, both individually and with partners, and are good tools to improve sex.
Everyone has different preferences in terms of toys and vibrators, but Morse suggests trying bullet vibrators or her new friend Gvibe Gring, you can use robots anywhere (not any risk business we suggest.
Morse is also a firm advocate of lubricants.
"Depending on the woman's body, they get wet at different speeds and at different times," Morse said . ".
So, add a few drops of lubricating oil to your masturbation program or during sex, such as SKYN Maximum Performance, and let you really enhance the experience.
According to Ms. Emily, "Women who use lubricants are more likely to reach orgasm than women who don't use them.
Roll out of your head. . .
Easier said than done, right?
Does your brain focus on everything you need to do afterwards?
Romp, or you directly emphasize that you will fail at climaxing (again!
), All the gymnastics is a reliable way to reach the climaxblock yourself.
"Mentality is an important part of sexual pleasure and orgasm, so if you're distracted, or tell yourself in your mind that this won't happen, it may stop you from reaching orgasm. ” says Morse.
"The trick is to solve your nervousness before you enter the bedroom or before you masturbate, whether through meditation or exercise, just try to relax.
Related: 12 signs that you may have an anxiety disorder. . .
Enter the area you hear over and over again, but your brain is the most important sexual organ and the main part of the wake-up, which is absolutely correct.
So before you go to bed, "start thinking about something that excites you --
"Maybe it's through watching porn or recalling past sexual experiences," Morse said . ".
"When your brain is on board, it will make it easier for your body to follow.
"But if you're still having trouble adjusting, try to find a way to get yourself back to the moment.
"Really focus on how you feel in your body, or have a spell telling yourself, 'Feel Good, I'm here all night, '" Morse suggested '. ".
"Or focus on your partner --
Touch them, grab them and get in touch with them.
"The most important thing is not to be too harsh on yourself, and don't feel like you have to rush to the end.
Instead, try to stay in the moment, "because when you are really present, there is no room for any ideas in our minds.
"Stay True, as Raven has done in bachelors, it is important to be open and honest with your partner.
Don't lie that you have had an orgasm in the past, or even worse, pretend that he has given you an orgasm.
Pretend it will only take away your happiness and send the wrong message telling you what to get you off the bus, Morse said.
Instead, bring you there with your partner.
If you do know how to reach orgasm through masturbation, "there's nothing wrong with doing the same except with your partner," Morse said . ".
"So if you rub the clit, bring it into the mixture if you use the toy.
Stand on your partner and move the way you have.
Or, when you touch yourself, put his hand on top of your head and explain what you like.
Morse is also an advocate of masturbation, which allows both sides to see what each other likes and to understand how the other's body works.
Morse explained: "It's a good teachable moment for couples and it's very hot.
Related: every woman must know 13 things about sex before she is 30 years old. It is not clear that communication is essential for great sex.
You may all feel yourself, though.
Consciously conquer the highs that have not yet been developed, and keeping an open voice can certainly help you get there.
Morse said a positive attitude must be maintained.
"Say 'I like to have sex with you, and I'm really excited to climax with you;
I think we should try something interesting.
"You can also speak in other ways.
Morse suggested giving in to those internal groans and deep breaths while playing.
"A lot of women hold their breath while having sex, but when you feel good, there's really a release when you're moaning," she said . ".
"You are releasing physical tension and it will help to get you and your partner excited.
"If everything else fails, check out that you 've tried masturbation, lubricating oil, toys and all sorts of mental exercises, but still don't, contact the doctor.
But if you do, be sure to find a doctor of medicine like a doctor.
Streicher is a specialist in sexual medicine and can help solve any medical, physical or psychological problems that may exist. Dr.
Streicher guarantees that in her experience, few women are completely unable to reach the climax, even if they have not yet reached the climax.
"If you 've never had an orgasm, then you're one of a large group of women . "Streicher.
"You are not surprised, you are not surprised, you may not have any problems, all this can be alleviated except for very special circumstances, you can also do it.
The article was originally about health. com.