I 've been thinking about a very beautiful sex toy my old boyfriend bought me.
I think that's what I think because he's having heart surgery this week.
This is the case at a certain age;
When you hear about an old boyfriend, it's not because he got married or found a great job, it's because they put the tube in his chest and they were right about him.
The toy is silver and shaped like a stylized banana, very complicated and I have never used it.
You also have to charge for a few hours.
Nor is this one of those things with discreet little lights; it blasted O-
In a dark room, the formed flash signal may be used to direct the upcoming flight at a small airport, ideally a signal catering to businessmen whose wife had been on
That's all they said, right?
Because I have a personal code that says you don't use sex toys given to you by one man and another (
Yes, I do have a tendency for pilgrims)
Anyway, I don't like it, I hide this thing in a big wardrobe, like a deep space, things go there and disappear forever.
The other day I heard Sandra Block shouting inside.
But now, as the old Bo surgery approaches, this toy
But its disposal. was on my mind.
This is a problem.
This is not one of those unused household items that you can donate to the housing project;
They don't even have sheets.
I am an environmental conscious person but in Union Square I can't see to take it to the old electronic day.
I can put it in the right recycle bin on my floor, but the neighbor might find out: it's her.
All day, one night, I heard a buzz coming from the apartment.
No wonder she always smiles
I might try to dispose of it with kitchen garbage, hide it with coffee grounds and dead stuff behind the fridge, like I did with my old tax report, but I broke the recycling method. I know. I know.
I should be one of those women who fought for diamonds.
But deal with sex supplies
In fact, all the awkward items you hide in the House
It is something everyone should care about.
There are fewer and fewer days, and some of you are coughing badly.
You want people who clean up your house, especially your children, to find those feather-like, metal, rubber, after a few months of your forced early retirement, did you order a polymer mixture for a drunken night?
Do you want them to know their big and tough construction workers? Dad likes to wear high heels and boa and sing "La" from "no strings", what is a weakness of Richard Rogers?
You might think, "I care about what my friend or child found at home?
I will not be embarrassed anymore, I will die.
But you're wrong.
Doctors now know that human embarrassment can last for two weeks after the heart stops beating.
Think of a hipster named Stanley: "I'm lying on the operating table, and then I have a feeling of leaving my body and looking down at myself and everything I can think, "Is my intuition really that big?
Check it online.
I know nobody likes to think about death.
But just as the person in charge appoints someone to make a medical decision in the event that he or she is incapacitated, we should all designate, let's call it The eradicate, and we come over and clean the house when we expire.
Remember Marilyn Monroe.
Just to say, I can't prove anything.
You should be given the keys to the House of the eradicate, the list of items to be destroyed, and their hiding place --
You don't want to scream in the intensive care unit, "Behind the sock drawer!
They will only increase your medication.
A person who is truly considerate will deal with potential humiliation or harmful items as soon as he gets sick, like a married man, I know he gave another woman's love letter to a male friend before he went to the hospital.
Then he got better and received a love letter.
Then he died, which was a big mistake for him, although I heard it was an interesting moment when the widow found another woman.
See this as a warning.
When you leave romantic souvenirs around the house, terrible things happen.
However, there is no reason to be careless or mishandling, such as my friend Heber and I witnessed in Greenwich Village many years ago that we found a sex toy on the street --
Not on the sidewalk, on the street.
I will tell you what this is, but I am trying to follow the guidelines of the newspaper: OK.
Think of a seesaw for adults.
Heber and I made a big splash in this matter, first discussing the possibility of anatomy (
You want to know what friends have to say in 40 years)
Then, as in law and order, try to reproduce the scene: Has there ever been a quarrel between lovers, during which time this huge shillelagh was thrown out of a taxi?
If so, why did the couple put things in a taxi from the beginning
Stealing a kiss in the back seat is one thing, but is that?
If it slips out of someone's shopping bag, is he or she embarrassed to pick it up even in the village? Awful, right?
Imagine how bad it would be if I found it while walking with a child.
"Aunt Joyce, what is that thing on the street? ”“It’s a grown-
Okay, honey.
When people love each other very much, they buy them.
Or maybe not enough.
One day when you grow up, a man will fall in love with you.
Take out the diamond when this happens.