When Drew was 8 years old, he was browsing the TV channel at home and boarded crazy girl.
A few years later, he stumbled upon HBO. night soft-
Core porn.
Then in the ninth grade, he found an online porn site on his mobile phone.
He said the videos are good for getting off the bus, but also provide an idea source for future sexual poses with future girlfriends.
From pornographic films, he learned that men need to stay buffered and dominant in bed and do things when they have sex, such as having girls turn over and over their stomachs.
The girl complained a lot and was almost opened up by everything a confident man did.
There is a special erotic scene with him: a woman gets bored by a gentle, close-to-sex man, but becomes ecstatic with a more aggressive man.
But in the 10 th grade or so, it's starting to bother drew, and it's an honor --
Rolling students who love baseball and write rap lyrics but still confide in their mom, porn affects what he thinks of the girls in school.
He wants to know if their breasts are like the ones in a porn movie?
Will the girls watch a woman like a porn movie when she makes love?
Will they give him oral sex and do other things he sees?
Drew asked me to use one of his nicknames, and when I first met him in late 2016, he was a junior and he told me some on a Thursday afternoon, while we were sitting in a small conference room with a few other high school boys, eating French fries, drinking soda and waiting
Start the school project.
Next to Drew is Q.
, He asked me to identify him with the first initials of his nickname.
He is 15 years old, an excellent student and a great fan, and he is very confused about how porn can be translated into real life. Q.
No sex-
He likes to be older. of-
The last time he had a girlfriend was in grade 6, they just played around for a while.
So he can't just ask the girls what they like.
But, as he told me in several conversations, it was not just porn that confused him, but rough images on Snapchat, Facebook and other social media.
Like a guy he saw pushing a woman to a GIF on the wall, a girl commented: "I want a man like this.
Drew mentioned "pain room" in "Fifty Shades of Gray" and attached the title of a girl: "This is great!
Watching porn also improves Q.
Show anxiety.
"You're looking at an adult," he told me . ".
"These guys are big, big, and long-lasting.
"If you don't do the same thing as a man in a porn movie, you're worried she won't like you," Drew added . ".
Drew leaned on the chair and said that some girls acted as if they wanted a mob instead of a smart, sensitive man.
But is this a real desire?
Is it pretending?
What do girls think they want? Neither Q. nor Drew knew.
Outside a few seats, a sophomore who had been quiet until then added that maybe the girls didn't know either.
"I think social media makes girls think what they want," he said . " He pointed out that he did not see many pornographic films and did not like them.
"But I think some girls are scared.
Q: "It enters your brain . "said.
"If this girl wants it, then most girls may want it.
"He has heard of the importance of consent in terms of sex, but it feels abstract, and it doesn't always seem realistic at the heat of the moment.
Should he say: can I pull your hair?
Or can he try and see how a girl reacts?
He knows something-
"Big things like sex toys or anal"
He won't try without asking.
"I will do it," said another boy in jeans and jerseys . ".
When I asked him what he meant, he said anal sex.
He thinks girls like it because women like it in porn movies.
Drew jumped back into the conversation and said: "I will never do something that looks uncomfortable . ".
"I might say, 'I saw this in porn'
Do you want to try it?
It's almost 4 p. m.
The boys began packing up their backpacks and headed to a class called erotic literacy.
Course, the official title is the truth about pornography: pornography-
Designed specifically for high school students, literacy courses designed to reduce sexual and dating violence are a new content that has recently started
Youth Leadership Program based in the southern tip of Boston, funded by the city's publichealth agency.
About 20 select high school students attend each year, most of them black or Latino, and some Asian students from Boston's public high school, including the city's highly competitive examination school, as well as several parish schools
For most of the year, teenagers learn about healthy relationships, dating violence, and L. G. B. T.
Questions, usually through group discussions, roles-
Games and other exercises.
But about two hours a week, five weeks, the students
Sophomore, Junior and Senior
Participation in pornographic literacy, designed to be portrayed by studying gender, sexuality, aggression, consent, race, homosexuality, relationships, and physical image (
Or, with consent, there is no description)in porn.
Bryant Paul said that on average, boys are around 13 years old and girls are around 14 years old, and when they first saw porn, associate professor at Indiana University's School of Media, the author of the study of pornographic content with adolescent and adult viewing habits.
In a 2008 survey of New Hampshire University, 93% of male college students and 62% of female students said they had seen cyber pornography before the age of 18.
Many women in particular did not look for it. Thirty-
5% of men said they had seen it 10 times or more during puberty.
Sexual literacy, which began in 2016, is the focus of the pilot study, partly created by Emily Rosman, and an associate professor at the School of Public Health at Boston University conducted several studies on dating violence and the use of juvenile pornography.
She told me that the curriculum was not designed to scare kids, convince them that pornography can be addictive or ruin their lives and relationships and distort their sexual desires.
Instead, it is based on the reality that most teenagers do see pornography and take the approach of teaching them to analyze it than simply hoping that our children will live in itfree world.
Imagine, you're a 14-year-old today.
A friend may show you a porn video on his phone on a bus to school or after a football practice.
Porn GIF appears on Snapchat.
Or you typed the wrong word "fishing" and ended up with a bunch of links to "fishing" videos. Like most 14-year-
Old people, you don't have sex, but you're curious, so maybe you start searching and landing on many porn sites like YouTube --XVideos. com, Xnxx. com, BongaCams.
Com, they're all 100 most-
According to Alexa's top website, websites that are frequented around the world.
Or you will find that Pornhub is the most popular in this group with 80 million visitors per day, with traffic exceeding Pinterest, Tumblr or PayPal.
The mainstream website doesn't confirm your age, and your mobile phone allows you to watch porn movies away from the eyes of adults.
If you have parents
Control the filters and you may have a way to get around them.
Also, your parents think there is a great chance that you don't watch porn.
A preliminary analysis of data from 2016 Indiana University's survey of more than 600 children and their parents reveals the naive gap between parents: Many parents think their 14-and 18-year-
In fact, the children have seen pornographic movies.
According to sex, parents underestimate as many as 10 times what their children see.
Part of what teenagers see on Pornhub depends on the algorithm and the clips they 've clicked on in the past.
In addition to opening a large number of videos on the page, there are dozens of categories (
"Teen", "anal", "blonde", "girl to girl", "Umu", "morlov ")
This can take them to more than 6 million videos.
These clips tend to be short and low in output value and are free, although Pornhub is trying to prevent it, sometimes piracy of paid sites.
Many heterosexual videos are taken from a male's point of view, as if a man is holding a camera while having sex with a woman whose main job is oral sex, sexual intercourse or anal sex is to get him to orgasm.
As the camera zooms in, the plot line goes from thin to non-existent
Close shooting of genitals and penetration, repetition, collision and-
Maybe not through 14-year-old —banal. (
There are other accounts in Los Angeles. G. B. T.
Feminist pornography and research have shown that for gay and bisexual youth, pornography can be certain that they are not alone in their sexual desires. )
We don't have much detail on what children actually think, largely because it's hard to get federal funding for child and pornography research.
A few years ago, due to the lack of a large number of recent American studies, rahida Jones, Jill Bauer and 2017 Netflix documentaries "Spice Girls want: about technology and pornography, together with several foundations and philanthropist, a national survey on porn viewing, sexual attitudes and behaviour was funded
As part of the survey, led by a professor at the School of Public Health at Indiana University, Derby Hepburn Nick, director of the University's Center for Sexual Health Promotion, and her colleague, Bryant Paul, 614 adolescents aged between 14 and 18 reported their experiences with pornography.
In the preliminary data analysis of the study (
Herbenick will submit an academic paper for publication this year)
Of about 300 people watching porn
36% of girls and boys said they saw a video of a man ejaculate on a woman's face (
Called "face "), Paul says. Almost one-
Both men and women saw B. D. S. M. (
Slavery, domination, abuse, masochism)
, 26% of men and 20% of women watched videos of double penetration, described in the study as one or more penis or object in the female anus and/or vagina.
In addition, 31% of the boys said they had seen "gang bangs", "group sex" and "rough oral sex "(
A man put his penis into his mouth aggressively. ;
The number of girls is less than half.
It's hard to know if and how this translates into behavior.
While some studies have shown that a small number of adolescents with a higher proportion of pornographic films engage in early sexual behavior, and gender stereotypes and sexual relationships that are less affectionate than their peers, these only show relevance, not cause and effect.
But the survey shows that the types of sex life of some teenagers may be changing.
Percentage of 18-to-24-year-
According to the largest survey of sexual behavior in the United States in decades, the number of elderly women who reported anal sex increased from 40% in 2009 to 16% in 1992.
Written by Herbenick, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.
In the same survey data, 20% of the decree-to-
19-year-old woman tried anal sex
14-6%to-17-year-Old woman.
In a study of nearly 2016 months in 400 Sweden --year-
Old girls, if they watch porn, double the percentage of girls who try anal sex.
Like other studies on sex and pornography, it only shows relevance, and girls who are more curious about sex may also be attracted to pornography.
In addition, some girls may consider anal sex as a "safer" alternative to vaginal sex because the risk of pregnancy is minimal.
The National Youth Survey at Indiana University also asked about other sexual behaviors.
Although these data have not yet been fully analyzed, preliminary findings suggest that people who have had sex in adolescents around the age of one
Six boys say they ejaculate or suffocate a sexual partner on someone's face.
There is no definition of suffocation in the survey, but high school and university
The age students I interviewed called it anything, from gently placing their hands on the partner's neck to squeezing it.
We don't have longitudinal data on how often American teenagers ejaculate or suffocate on girls faces to know if these two practices are more common now.
As David Finkel Hall, director of the Center for Child crime research at New Hampshire University, told me, young people have less early sex than in the past (
In a recent study, 24% of American ninth graders had sex;
About 37% people in 1995
Teenagers arrested for sexual assault were also arrested.
But you don't have to believe that porn can lead to sexual assault, or that porn can create a generation of brutal men who want to know how porn can help teenagers talk and think about sex, their thoughts on men, women, intimacy and power.
Over the past year, I have interviewed dozens of older teenagers at Start Strong and across the country, and many say porn and mainstream media
From the TV program "family man "(
Which reference is suffocation and anal sex)
The song "Truffle Butter" in Nicki Minaj (
Obviously refers to anal sex, then vaginal sex)
Lyrics in Rihanna's "S & M (
"The stick and the stone may break my bones, but the chain and the whip will excite me ")—
It is almost common practice to make anal sex and rough sex.
Drew told me that he realized that not only did the girls want to gain dominance by reading a few pages of "Fifty Shades of Gray", but also by watching the movie "Sir"& Mrs.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
"She was on the table and was beaten by him.
That's all I saw growing up.
"These pictures confuse many teenagers with the type of sex they want or think they should have.
In a way, it's because they're not always sure what's fake in porn and what's real.
While some have told me that porn is fantasy or exaggerated, others have said that porn is not real because it is not usually sex between two lovers in a movie.
Some of these teenagers believe that sexual and happy performance is basically accurate.
This seems to be consistent with 2016 of the 1,001 survey. to-16-year-Young people in England
Of about half the people who watched porn, 53% of the boys and 39% of the girls said it was "realistic ".
"In the recent Indiana University national survey, there was only one of the six boys, and only one of the four girls thought that women in online pornography did not really experience happiness: as a suburban high school senior boy recently told me, "I 've never seen a porn girl who looks unhappy.
"So it's not surprising that some teenagers use pornography as a wayto guide.
In 2016, Rosman conducted a study of 72 high school students aged 16 and 17, and adolescents reported that pornography was the main source of their access to information --
More than friends, siblings, school or parents.
"There is no other place to learn about sex," the suburban boy told me . ".
"Porn stars know what they're doing.
His words reflect the country's paradox about sex and pornography.
While smartphones make it easier for teens to watch porn movies, sex education in the United States --
The place of abstinence
Sex education is still the norm. is meager.
Of the 26 states that do not have sex education, Massachusetts is one of them.
Only 13 required materials are accurate in medicine and science.
The Obama administration has achieved some results in promoting more comprehensive sex education, including pregnancy prevention, anatomical discussion, birth control, disease prevention, abstinence and healthy relationships, the Trump administration did not include the plan in its 2018 budget proposal;
It also called for increased funding for abstinence education. Easy-to-
Internet pornography fills this vacuum, making pornography a de facto sex educator for young Americans.
On a Thursday afternoon, a dozen teenagers sat in a half-circular North Face zipper.
Late afternoon ups, Jordans, boots, big earrings and drooping shoulders.
This is the third week of erotic literature, and everyone already knows the rules: you can attend without having to watch porn;
Don't use someone else's yum-
Don't belittle students' sexual taste or sex.
Avoid sharing personal stories about sex in class.
Nicole Daley and Jessie Alder wrote the course with Emily Rosman and led most of the exercises and discussions, who were in their 30 s and were warm and accommodating.
Until last month, Daley was the director of Start Strong, playing a slightly more serious favorite --
Aunt's role, while Alder is a better role, he runs a Strong course for teenagersme-
What big sister.
Rothman also took most of the classes to provide information about porn Research and explain to them that, for example, there is no scientific evidence that pornography is addictive, but one may have obsessive-compulsive disorder about it.
In the first class, Daley led an exercise in which the group defined pornographic terms (B. D. S. M. , kink, soft-core, hard-core)
So, as she says, "everyone is on the same page" and "you can avoid clicking on something you don't want to see.
The students also voted for "values "--
Agree or disagree with whether the age of legal viewing of pornography at the age of 18 is too high, if working in the porn industry is a good way to make money, if pornography should be illegal.
Later, Daley cited a photo of a girl in her 1940 s, a Japanese geisha and Kim Kardashian, talking about how the cultural values of beauty and body have gone on over time
In future classes, they talk about intimate types that are not described in the porn and non-discriminatory pickup lines.
Finally, Daley will provide a law on pornographic text messages and pornographic text messages as well as so-
Known as revenge porn (
For example, a teenager released a nude photo of his predecessor without consent).
To the surprise of teenagers, they learned that if the person in the photo is a minor, it may be illegal to receive or send nude photos agreed by both parties, or even send them to your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Now, in the third week of class, Daley's goal is to weaken the appeal of pornography to teenagers by exposing the insider of the porn industry.
"It's not sexy when you understand that it's not just two people on the screen, it's an industry," she told me . ".
To this end, Daley began classes, detailing the salary of a middle-level female performer (
Taken from the 2008 documentary "The price of happiness")
"Strike work: $300," Daley read from the list . ". “Anal: $1,000.
Double penetration: $1,200.
Help: $1,300 for three people.
$100 per extra guy.
"Wow," drew muttered.
"It makes it bad now.
"It's nothing to be penetrated by a camera," said another boy . ".
Then, as if they were given the green light to ask a growing world --
Ups rarely admits that they are starting to entangle Daley, Roseman and ALDE with problems.
"How much does a man get paid?
Asked a girl.
It's one of the few jobs where men pay less, but they usually have a longer career, explains Rosman.
How long do women stay at work?
Average 6 to 18 months
If not open, how does a man erect?
Usually Viagra, provided by Rosman, is also sometimes referred to as a kind of off-screen human stimulus ".
Then Daley asked teenagers to pretend they were real contestants.
They have to decide whether they are willing to take part in some of the challenges (
Your parents may be watching)
How much is there.
In one case, she says, when someone pours a substance on your face, you kneel on the ground.
In another example, you will lick a spoon that has been exposed to feces.
The children argue about feces.
Material challenges
Most people will not do so for less than $2 million.
Someone would like to know if the goop is tasty.
"Can we know what it is? Asked another.
Then Daley explained that everyone is actually a simulation of pornography.
This exciting substance is called the "Baker's Dozen", of which 13 men ejaculate on a woman's face, chest and mouth. “What?
A girl named Tiffany protested.
The second scene.
Lick the spoon with feces
From a porn show called. T. M.
, One of the men put his penis in the anus of a woman and followed immediately by sticking it to her mouth. “No way,” a 15-year-old boy said.
"Can't you wash in the middle?
"No," said Daley.
"We don't question it when we see it in porn, do we? Daley continued.
"There is no judgment here, but some of you are sensitive to it.
"I never knew that," Drew said . " It sounds a little unhappy.
Daley went on to detail a 2010 study that coded the aggression incident as the best
Sell 2004 and 2005 porn videos.
88% of the scenes, she notes, are verbal or physical attacks, mainly spanking, slapping and slapping. (
Bryant Paul and his colleagues recently analyzed the content of more than 6,000 mainstream online heterosexual porn scenes, specifically defining aggression as any purposeful behavior, scenes that appear to cause 33% of physical or psychological harm to another person meet this standard.
In each study, women were at the receiving end of aggression for more than 90% of the time. )
Daley stood in front of the students and said, "Do you think watching porn can lead to violence against women ? "?
There is no right or wrong here. It’s a debate. ”Kyrah, a 10th-
Scoring feminists with an athlete's compact body and a tendency to say her point of view, she did not hesitate.
"In porn, they beautify women as sluts or prostitutes, and young children think that's the case.
Or when they have those weird porn scenes, the woman will say, "Don't touch me," and then she will love it!
Tiffany, her best friend, agreed.
A person interjected and said, "Yes and No . "
"When a man suffocates a woman in a porn movie, people know it's not true and they shouldn't do it because it's violent.
He was the same teenager and he told me that he would "do" anal sex without asking the girl because the women in the porn movies like that.
Porn does not create the narrative that male happiness should be the first.
But this idea is definitely to strengthen the "public"
As Cindy Gallup says, the dominant sex industry is shot through male footage. ".
Gallop is the creator of an online platform called MakeLoveNotPorn where users can submit videos of their sexual contact
What she calls "the real world", voluntary sex with "good values --
And pay for watching other people's videos.
For years, galloping has been
How easy a female lab witness-to-
Access to mainstream porn influences.
Now in her 50 s, she has been dating someone in her 20 s for more than ten yearssomething men.
She found them through the Puma dating site
Connection between elderly women and young men
Her main criterion is that they are "good ".
Still, she told me that while having sex with these very young good men, she repeatedly encountered porn memes: facial expressions, "jackhammering" sexual intercourse, anal sex and male demands are more frequent than when they were younger, and they don't seem to pay much attention to female orgasm.
The coach brought it back"
Education, "she half
Jokingly, men grew up in pornography.
Of course, some people do like these behaviors.
But, especially when it comes to teenagers, she told me that she was worried
Core pornography, for example, leads many girls to think that "all boys like to show up on the girl's face and all girls like to show up on their faces.
So the girls felt that they had to show the boy's face and pretend to like it.
"Although none of the boys I started talking to Strong told me that they had ejaculated on the girl's face, Gallop's words reminded me of my conversation with some older high school students --
Students in various cities.
A senior said that in most of the porn scenes he had seen, the woman's face ejaculated with a girlfriend.
"I brought it up, or she would say, 'Come on my face.
This is one aspect I like.
She did it too.
Another pointed out that the bill "talked a lot" among men, but said that "a girl must be frustrated about it" before he thinks about doing it ".
"There are things that appeal to men.
All the opportunities to dominate and be intimate and make eye contact.
Men are obsessed with what they show on girls.
"At the beginning, the enthusiasm of many girls has dropped significantly.
A senior told me that a boyfriend had to ejaculate on her face. she said no.
In a conversation I had with three girls, a senior asked loudly, "what if you don't want facial care?
What should you do?
A friend said there was a boy who wiped it with a napkin.
Girls as big as me like plastic surgery.
But after a while, she changed her direction.
"I don't think they like it.
They do it because their partner likes it.
A sophomore added next to her that when the girl who grew up talking to each other, many said it was disgusting.
"But they say what you have to do.
If you don't, the first girl adds, "then someone else will.
"It's not a new power dynamic between girls and boys.
In a 2014 UK study on anal sex and adolescents, girls expressed similar lack of performance and physical pain.
In a survey of 130 heterosexual adolescents aged between 16 and 18, teenagers often say they believe pornography is an incentive for men to have anal sex.
Among those who reported the attempts, many said that friends encouraged them, or that they felt they were competing with others.
At the same time, most girls who have tried anal sex say they don't actually want to do so;
Their partners convince or force them.
As the researchers say, some men have taken a "try it" approach to try to put their fingers or penis in the girl's anus, hoping that she will not stop them.
Sometimes a teenager reports that you "move on until they're tired of it and let you do it anyway.
Both boys and girls accuse girls of pain in anal sex, and some tell researchers that girls need to "relax" or "get used to" more ".
Only one girl said she liked it very much and only a few boys liked it.
Teenagers may not know that, in the 2009 National Survey of Sexual habits in the United States, even if pornography looks widespread, most men and women who try anal sex do not use anal sex as part of their sex life.
In another study by Debby Herbenick and others at Indiana University in 2015, about 70% of anal women said they had experienced pain.
Drew had first-hand experience with what he saw in pornographic films, but did not translate into actual joy.
The first time he had sex, he thought he should put some physical control on his girlfriend.
But the whole thing was awkward, too rough and not so interesting.
Things that look easy in porn, such as having sex or oral sex with each other during a shower, are not progressing very well.
While having sex, Drew's then girlfriend, who was a year older and more experienced than her, asked him to put his hand on her neck while having sex.
He did it and didn't squeeze it, and although it didn't really bother him, it didn't feel well.
Drew never asked her if she got the idea from porn, but it made him curious.
Did she learn other ways to perform?
"How do you know, for example, that a girl has a good time?
One afternoon, he sat with some friends and thought aloud before the porn literacy class.
"My girlfriend said she had a good time," he went on . ".
"She was groaning.
But the question is: is this a fake moaning?
A senior told me that even if you know that porn is not realistic, it will still raise expectations.
In a porn movie, he said, "The clothes are taken off, the girl is disappointed with the man, he becomes difficult, and he starts having sex with her.
It's all very simple and light.
"Before he had sex, porn provided images of his oral sex, including a scene where a woman knelt down while a man was standing by her side.
One day, when he had sex, he thought that was what could have happened.
But when he talks to his girlfriend, they realize they don't want
Develop power dynamics.
I spent a couple of hours on Wednesday afternoon with a senior girl who took her first erotic literacy class in the summer of 2016.
Looking back on middle and high school life in the past few years,.
She asked me to identify her with the first initials of her middle name, and she said she wanted a place for herself --
Family, school, community sexed program —
To understand sex.
Instead, she learned this from pornographic films.
After a group of six, she saw it by chance for the first time.
The grade boy coax her to see tube8.
She didn't know it was a porn site.
She is fascinated.
She had never seen a penis before, "not a picture, nothing.
"A few years later, she searched the internet again for porn because she listened to the girls in the high school locker room talking about masturbation. A.
She stated that her parents were conservative in sex and did not talk to her about female anatomy or sex, and that her school did not provide any sex education until Grade 9;
Even so, the main focus is on danger.
Sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy.
In addition to some private schools and innovative community programs, there are relatively few
Detailed study of anatomy in middle and high school education classes (
Especially women)
Intimate, healthy relationships, sexual diversity.
Discussions about women's desires and happiness are more rare. Porn taught A.
The basic knowledge of masturbation.
When she was 16, porn was her learning guide and the first person to have sex among her friends.
She clicked on the video to watch female oral sex.
She focuses on how they move when they have sex and listens to how they groan.
She began shaving her vulva.
"I 've never seen anyone in porn with hair on it . ").
Porn is not all bad, says ".
He's Frank and interesting.
Placement class and self on her transcript
A guaranteed way to impress adults.
"I got my way of sex from porn, and I like my way.
But what she learned from porn also has a negative impact.
Because she thinks that a woman's happiness in porn is real, and when she has sex for the first time without orgasm, she thinks that's how things go. For A.
It's not enough to know that porn is fake sex.
She wants to know how real sex works.
Rothman and her team did consult a sex education worker when writing a pornographic literacy course, but decided to include only some basic information about safe behavior.
In a class, it appears in the form of a "porn dangerous" game.
Teenagers gathered in the team choose from four categories: S. T. D. /S. T. I.
Teen Violence/sexual assault and brain pornography. “S. T. I. s/S. T. D.
"$300," shouted one student . ".
"Why is lubrication important to sex? ” Alder asked.
"What is lubrication? ” Drew asked.
"This is lubricating oil," another teenager tried to explain . ".
"Do you only lubricate small pipes? y things?
Asked a girl with long black hair.
"Or natural?
"I have never learned this before," Drew announced to the class after mentioning that lubrication reduces friction, increases happiness, and can reduce the risk of tearing, thus also reducing the risk of S. T. I. s and S. T. D. s.
Drew's only sex clip was with the school's PE teacher in the sixth grade, and when he was talking about sex he sweated, "it's all because it's not good, we should not do so.
"Just like to correct the situation, Alder offers a quick anatomy class, drawing a vulva on the whiteboard, pointing out the clit, vagina, urethra.
"This is called vulva," she said . "
ALDE slowly repeated the word loudly as if to guide the students in a foreign language.
This is both for humor and to normalize a word that some of them may hear for the first time.
"This is the clit," continued Alder.
"This is the happiest place for women.
Most women don't have G points.
If you want to know how to make a woman happy, it's the clit.
"Let's move on," Rothman said calmly . ".
Alder has just crossed a line on which the anatomy is located on one side and women's desire and pleasure are on the other.
This reminds us that although it is controversial to teach children pornography, it may be more taboo to teach them how the body works in terms of sex.
Rothman later told me, "This class is about critically analyzing sexual exposure media, not how to have sex.
We want to stay in the narrow alleys and not be seen as promoting things that are uncomfortable for our parents.
"I hope things are different, but we have to be aware of the limitations we have as a society," Daley added.
"Porn education is such a new area that no one knows best practices, what materials should be included and where to teach. (
Few people are optimistic that public schools will teach the class soon. )
A few years ago, L.
Kris Gowen, an author of a sex educator and 2017 book Sex decision: The Ultimate Teen Guide, writes a lot of guidelines that teach teens to criticize "sexual exposure Media "(
She avoided the more inflammatory term "pornography literacy).
Although Gao Wen's State of Oregon has the most comprehensive sex
In the ed program in the United States, the teachers felt incapable of talking about pornography, Gowen said.
Although these guidelines have been distributed and published publicly at educational conferences, Gowen does not know which educators have implemented them.
To some extent, people may be waiting to get a better understanding of what works, she said.
But at the same time, many schools and teachers are nervous about anything that is likely to be "accused of promoting pornography.
Recent one-time love
The educational guidelines of the World Health Organization's European office pointed out that educators should include discussions from late primary school to high school about the impact of pornography on sexuality.
However, the guidelines do not provide specific ideas on how to conduct these conversations.
In the UK, non-profit organizations and the Union of Teachers and members of parliament have suggested that schools discuss the impact of pornography on how children perceive sex and relationships.
Magdalena Mattebo, a researcher at the University of Uppsala in Sweden, studies pornography and adolescents, and she hopes to authorize pornography literacy in her country.
"We are a little confused about how to deal with this," Mattebo told me . ".
More than 300 schools, youth and community groups and government agencies in Australia and New Zealand use pornographic content
Educational resources, known as "pictures", mainly include statistics, research and exercises for adolescents.
It was created by Maree Crabbe, an expert in sexual violence and pornography education living near Melbourne, Australia.
As she said in her training program for American educators and social workers in 2016: "We want to be positive about sex, be positive about masturbation, and be critical of pornography.
A key component of the project is often overlooked in terms of pornography literacy: providing training to help parents understand and talk about these issues.
Last year, feminist porn producer Erika Lust negotiated with sex educators to create a porn film
Parent education website.
Porn conversations link to research and articles and provide practical tips for parents, including ways to talk to children about mainstream porn that does not represent a typical physical or sexual act that is satisfactory to both parties, and avoid accusations about why your child looks at porn and who shows them porn
"We can't just say 'I don't like mainstream porn because it's a Shawen,'" Lust said '. " His film is dominated by women.
Focus on happiness
"We gave our kids technology so we needed to teach them how to deal with it.
"But she suggested that middle-class parents go a step further --and high-
She says students talk to their teenagers about "healthy porn", including showing women's desires and happiness, and making them in fair working conditions.
I asked desire if she would guide her daughter in this direction when she grew up (
They are 7 and 10).
"When I think my 15-year-old daughter is mature enough, I would recommend a good website to them.
We are curious about sex.
People are suspicious and uneasy about their sex. ‘Is it O. K.
Do I like this, or is it?
I think porn can be a good thing as an outlet.
I'm not afraid of explicit sex.
I'm afraid values are bad.
Tristan Tolmino, another feminist porn producer and writer, often speaks on college campuses and makes explicit sex --
Adult video.
"We don't want teenagers to watch our videos," she said, noting that they were rated XXX.
"But do I want teens to have access to some of these elements?
She said, "in addition to seeing consent, they will see people talking to each other and they will see a lot of warm things --up.
We show lubricating oil, we show sex toys.
"It's probably more than most parents, even older teenagers, can afford it.
But even if parents decide to help their teenagers find these sites, it is not only illegal to show any form of pornography --good or bad —
But do teenagers really want their parents to do so?
What would parents recommend to teenagers?
"Unlike organic food, there is no coding system for ethical or feminist pornography," Crabbe noted . ".
"They may use condoms and dental dams and still communicate the same gender and aggressive dynamics.
Also, "good porn" is often not as free or nearly accessible as millions of video streams on mainstream websites.
Al Vernacchio, a nationally renowned sex educator who teaches progressive sex education at a private Quaker school outside Philadelphia, believes that a better solution would be to use pornographic literacy as a comprehensive
Vernacchio is the author of 2014 book "Good sex: changing the way we talk to teenagers about sex, values and health" and is one of those rare teenagers
Sex educators talk directly to his high school students about sexual happiness and relationships, as well as the ingredients of healthy relationships.
The problem with pornography, Vernacchio says, is "not just that it often shows the performance of relationships that are disgusted with women and unhealthy ".
"You can't learn relationship skills from pornography, and pornography can't teach you how to have them if you're looking for joy and connection.
One effective way to get young people to learn less from pornography, Crabbe noted, is: "If you want to be a lazy, selfish lover, please let them know and look at pornography . ".
If you want to be a lover, your partner will say "that's great" and you won't learn from porn.
Cindy Gallup believes parents should want their teenagers to be generous lovers.
"Our parents let us develop good manners and professional ethics.
But no one let us do well in bed.
In order for his students to feel comfortable and respectful in a sexual situation, Vernacchio showed photos of the genitals to his high school, not just picturesschoolers.
"Most people have sex with real people, not porn stars, and the real body is very changeable.
I 'd rather my students have moments of questioning, confusion, or even laughing in my classroom than seeing their partner naked for the first time.
He and 2012 books, sex becomes easy: your awkward questions are answered with better, smarter, amazing sex, "advocating that teenagers should understand, most women do not achieve orgasm through separate penetration, and the clit stimulation usually requires oral sex, fingers and sex toys.
As she points out: "This is part of human life and you teach it in a smart, sensitive way.
"When the first group of students in the erotic literacy class spent their lives in the year after the end of the course, some of the things in the discussion were still with them.
In the survey of the first three classes, one-
The third student still said they would agree to do it if their partner asked them to do porn.
Some people also want to try what they see in porn.
After all, they are normal, sexually curious, and trying teenagers.
However, in the after-school survey, only a very small number of students agreed that "most people like to be slapped, spanked or poked when having sex", compared to 27% at the beginning of class
While at first 45% said pornography was a good way for young people to understand sex, only 18% now agree.
By the end of the course, no one said that pornography was a reality; just over one-
Quarter believed this in the first place.
The survey did not reveal the catalyst for these changes.
Is it the course itself?
Is it the teaching style of Daley and ALDE?
Students may have created these changes themselves, teaching each other through their internal
Debate and discussion in class. A.
The young woman said she had never seen an image of her penis before she watched porn, and she rejected the idea that porn is generally harmful to teenagers.
"At least the children are watching porn and won't go out to get pregnant," she said . ".
But recently, she told me that she had given up watching TV altogether.
She does not like to look at women's expressions now, thinking that they may not experience happiness and may feel pain.
When Drew watched porn, he found himself wondering if a woman had sex against her will.
Another student sighed and said, "Nicole and Jessie have ruined our porn.
In the months after class,.
She creates a new mission for herself: she always has a climax during sex. “And I did it! ” she told me.
She had a relationship with an open man and it was helpful to ask what she liked.
But even if porn isn't as deep into the details of sex as she wants it to be, "in this indirect way, this course shows what you deserve and shouldn't get, she says.
"In porn, this guy only cares about himself.
I used to think more about "is what I did right or wrong ? "
Porn may ignore the climax of women, but.
I will never go again.
Drew used to use pornography as his main sex educator, and now he has a different view of sex.
"There are things that need to come to us naturally, not look at it and see what you're doing," he told me . ".
The discussion about anatomy and false display of happiness made him realize that girls don't always respond like porn movies and they don't want the same thing.
No guys.
Maybe it's wrong for that beautiful and gentle man not to have porn clips that excite the girl.
What drew needs is an open and honest girl like him who can start working with her to figure out how to have sex.
It will take some time and it will most likely take some groping. But Drew was O. K. with that.
He just started.