Why are some couples hissing in other couples?
Social scientists are studying
Sexual marriage is to find clues that may go wrong in a relationship.
According to the data collected by the General Social Survey, married men and women have an average of 58 sexual relationships with their spouses every year, more than once a week, and have been following American social behavior since 1972.
But the number has changed a lot.
Married people under the age of 30 have sex about 111 times a year.
According to Dennis A, it is estimated that about 15% of married couples have not had sex with their spouses in the past six months to A year.
Donnelly, an associate professor of sociology at Georgia State University, studied sex-free marriage.
I recently talked to Professor Donnelly about the researchers about no-sex marriages.
This is our conversation.
Is there any indication that marriage without sex is becoming more and more common?
Or do we just hear more?
I suspect we just heard more.
Long before reliable family planning, marriage without sex was a way to limit the size of the family.
This is also the day when women should not enjoy sex and often use it as a bargaining tool in marriage (
Because it's social).
Also, unhappy couples (
Who is unlikely to have sex)
They are more likely to stay together because of social expectations, or because they have children.
Why is marriage not sexy?
Did this start?
Or will sex fade?
The answer to this question is both.
Some of us in the sample did not have much sex from the beginning, while others identified a specific time or event (
Childbirth, things)
After that, sex will slow down or stop.
Some people get used to their spouse and even get bored and have a slow sex life.
For others, it's about raising families, building careers, andadulthood.
Some human impulses are low and may not even be sexual.
At the beginning, they may have some sex with their partner, but it doesn't matter to them (
Usually not important for their spouse).
These people may also be dealing with guilt, human problems, or feel that sex is "dirty" or just for birth.
A few couples show a mixed pattern, and they will have periods of "feast" and "famine.
"Are couples without sex less happy than couples with sex? Generally, yes.
In most couples, there is a feedback relationship between happiness and sex.
Happy couples have more sex, and the more sex a couple have, the happier they will be.
But keep in mind that sex is just a form of intimacy and some couples are quite happy (and intimate)
Even without sex
In 1993 of my studies, I did find that people who have no sex marriage are more likely to consider divorce than those who have sex active marriage.
No ideal level of sexual behavior
The ideal level is satisfactory to both sides-and when one (or both)
If you are not happy, then you will have a marriage problem.
Can people in marriages that have become unsexy rekindle their sex life? Some do.
But once a marriage does not have sex for a long time, it is hard.
One or both can be very afraid of being hurt or rejected, or just being completely indifferent to their partner.
They may have not communicated for a long time (if ever)
It is difficult to talk about it.
Couples talking about sex (
And other aspects of their marriage)
Tend to have healthier marriages, but it's hard to get a couple to talk once they have a non-healthy patterncommunication.
People disagree about how to rekindle marriage sex.
It can be simple for some couples, such as a weekend away from the kids, a vacation or a cruise, or just a one-person break.
Someone else may need help.
Establish communication and seek professional assistance.
Sadly, there are very few consulting professionals dealing with this issue.
Marriage counselors usually focus on other aspects, not sex.
While these other aspects may play an important role in inactive sex, it is essential to speak clearly about sex.
Is it easier for people without sex to divorce?
In my research with others, people who have sex-free marriages report that they are more likely to consider divorce and that their marriage is less happy.
Some of our former interviewees have been in touch with me and the happiest people are actually those who have turned to other partners.
This may be due to the lack of sex life being a signal that all intimacy in marriage is over and in other cases both will be happier.
I know this may not be an idea that is popular with religious and political rights, but it could be a better solution than staying in a marriage that hurts and doesn't satisfy.
All in all, these situations are so complicated.
Every couple must check their specific history, motivation and goals, and whether it's worth trying to get sex back into marriage.
This can be a daunting task that requires people to take emotional and physical steps that are uncomfortable for them.
What else do you want to know about sexual marriage?
I hope that over time, I will start some vertical work that tracks couples, trying to better understand the process they go through, how they make decisions, and how they affect their happiness in the future.
In the end, I want to know how those who are able to fix sex do that.
Comments are no longer accepted.
Sex is a huge job with so little reward.
I would rather take the time to make really delicious food.
Just a year ago, I posted a summary of an informative podcast, and I heard from the editor of Dr Irwin Goldstein about "having sex after 50 --in-
Chief and director of sexual medicine at Alvarado Hospital, San Diego, California, and his wife Sue.
Really interesting!
The Goldstein family is very frank.
This is what I have to say on this issue.
Podcast: people's medicine link by Joe & Terry Graedon:/www. People's Pharmacy
Com/archives/free_podcast/680 _ xx _ after_50.
PhpIf you want the version of cliff notes, you can find it in "fuck after 50" below
Up blog: red wine, sports, mobile phones, sex, strawberries, etc.
Happiness health longlife.
Happy and healthy life/2008/06/Health-librarians-brain-back-up-red-wine-exercise-cell-phones-sex-strawberries-and-more.
Html brennan, you did something wrong.
For people facing disability and illness, a relationship without sex can be a big problem.
Based on my research and interviews with sex therapists, I wrote a few suggestions in a recent book for young adult survivors to have sex after a long vacation.
For couples in their early 30 s, the divorce rate for cancer survivors is particularly high, partly due to sexual problems and their impact on relationships.
This is a very important quality of life issue that is rarely discussed in the cancer community or anywhere else.
Thank you for this Q & A Tara.
/Everthingchangesbook.
Com/"sex is a huge job and the pay is so low.
I would rather take the time to make really delicious food. ”Wha? ? ?
Who are you fucking? A lot of work? wow.
This is so sad:
I sometimes see a couple's sex life as a microcosm of the whole relationship: if sex is not frequent or absent due to poor communication, or dissatisfied, this may happen in another relationship (or even every)area, too.
Obviously, sexual desire fluctuates over time, illness, relationship issues, age, happiness of the partner, etc.
As Professor Donnelly seems to suggest, a couple's sex life may be better than the determinants of marital health.
Some of my patients were less interested in sex, and they were shocked by that, and some did not.
Some people have expressed to me the idea that as they enter the later stages of life, their interest in sex will diminish as their interest in other things increases.
It's like they have a certain amount of creative energy. if they assign it to something other than sex, there is not much energy left in their interest in sex. It’s very odd.
/Happinessinthisworld.
ComSex does not always mean sexual intercourse. (
I'm not kidding the former president here).
Intimacy may be the basic need of marriage.
Sexual intercourse is only part of it.
I hope they can talk more about the pain, like the pain caused by arthritis.
My husband and I used to have sex every night, but have reached a tipping point where the pain is greater than pleasure.
I almost became a boring position.
It should not feel a lot of work.
Or few rewards.
In fact, it should feel similar to the food that is very good to cook --
It's a very worthwhile investment to keep you healthy, it's important for a happy and healthy family, it makes you smile.
If there is no such feeling, you should try to figure out what (else)is wrong.
My wife, 19, ran away with the pizza guy.
We have very few close relationships.
3 to 5 times a year)for many years.
Later, when I hugged her, I realized she was holding back.
Divorced eight years ago.
I met a great woman and we were all happy.
The sexiest thing. .
Have a partner who likes you! !
I had sex with my ex until I gave up my apartment and we moved in together.
He has been watching football since then!
When I was wondering what happened to us, he claimed that the level of performance was unsustainable.
I feel that I am tempted by false excuses.
"It's so boring to have sex with the same man year after year," a friend once commented . ".
I think the relationship between men and women is always superficial.
It makes no sense to pretend otherwise.
I'm married to people who have no sex.
The first year of sex was great, and then slowly there was nothing.
We get along well, we are not overweight, we don't feel unattractive, or anything else.
I bring it back as much as I can.
I gave up after two years without sex.
Oh yes, my husband never wants to have sex, by the way.
Greg and Alison are not necessarily "wrong" or "sad ".
Please allow my reply: There are three studies-
Recorded the way to make the orgasm dopamine surge naturally, and each person's body has a different degree of reaction to each person, with no specific order: sex, food, and music (
There may even be other people, such as the "extreme" sports people).
Some people feel happy (orgasmic)
From eating amazing food or hearing amazing music, it's no better than those who have the same feeling for amazing sex (solo, one-on-
One, more, what).
With special exceptions, get off the bus with my favorite chef to enjoy my favorite creations or play "try this" with fewer people willing to accept than busy with the body.
The least resistance, right?
It is important to learn what works best for your body and mind and embrace these fully.
However, we are often bombarded by an almost repressed peer
From the myth between our two years, only sex can get you to that vague, happy place where all the hair on your body is standing and your eyes roll
Then, some people spent their whole life trying to realize the myth and were very disappointed.
Before I figure this out, it took me many years to think that I was a broken person because this social pressure made me "show" secondary to what I really love.
Personally, for me?
Music is the most important thing, but food is very important if it is not a tie.
Try a chocolate that is close to pure, black, bittersweet, 70% or higher.
Good sex (
Whether it's my partner or solo)
But personally, it's not as important as the other two.
However, what I don't appreciate is that someone looks down from the bridge of the nose because I am straight --
On this point, I judge that my means of happiness are not as good as their sex --only angle.
Whether it's from my girlfriend or someone in the conversation, it's proud.
Occasionally, it does grow up, usually in the company of a mixed social gathering.
Sometimes people react with "It's really cool" or "Hey, me too!
When other times the social stigma card is trying to be played: "What are you, is there a defect ? "?
"Whenever this happens, I'm going to almost-
My answer is often: "You see, my body chemistry and wiring are not like yours.
Like those who use marijuana: I know people who react more clearly and faster when throwing stones, and I don't know how they do it.
I can't even work if THC is in my system.
Since I have not judged your life, I would appreciate it if you could accept that we are different, just as gay and straight are different.
"I mean, what's the point of laughing at people who only like meat and potatoes and are totally reluctant to explore new flavors and textures, or ridicule them for listening to all the work of three musical artists or composers, ignoring the creation of other 99% melodies?
If it works, give them more power.
It makes no sense to be harsh on them.
Do you understand what I said?
What a terrible marriage without sex! ! !
For 12 years, I have been a part of that sexual marriage, and now I am 32 years old.
If one of the spouses has a stronger sexual impulse than the other, then a marriage without sex is hell-like. In this case-
I'm the one who always wants to have sex.
It wasn't until I did some experiments on my own body that I had an orgasm or realized what it was.
Then I told my husband that we wanted to improve our sex life.
He was sad at first, then he was angry and didn't want to admit that he didn't know how to please me or that he was too selfish to care about me.
I feel frustrated and angry every day. It was awful!
Twelve years later, he left me for a 9-year-old girl who met me at a bar.
I should have left him long ago.
I have met a great person now and after 2 years and 1/2 years we still can't have enough of each other.
We improve our sex life with sex toys, vibrators, underwear and yes. . lubricant.
I don't know what I missed in that frustrated, asexic marriage.
I'm 63 years old.
My marriage became less sexy about 15 years ago.
My wife had no obvious desire for sex, and after years of begging, I finally gave up.
Five years later, I started to have an affair with a colleague.
It is also a worker who has no sexual marriage. Our ten-
A year of one-husband and one-wife relationships saved our marriage.
We are all married to good people.
I realize it's not a normal solution, but it can happen more than you think.
Life is always good for me when I get close with my man, whether it means sitting on the beach, snuggling up on the couch, cooking, or having sex.
I don't know what makes people happy, but that's why I'm happiest.
When there are sexy and sweet people to enjoy, everything becomes easier.
I really don't think we will lose interest as we grow older.
If we lose interest in sex, I think our relationship will become very dull.
This is just one of the many things we like to do together (
Including what I just said.
But this could be the glue of our relationship.
Obviously everyone is different, but I always want to know how a relationship without sex works.
I will be interested in reading reviews.
This is very attractive, especially the comments.
I have been married for 27 years and met my husband on my 18 th birthday (
After 6 years of marriage, we have been together for 33 years)
I have never had sex with anyone else and still enjoy it.
This is the "glue" of our relationship-if other things are not going well, then sex usually helps mitigate the situation and make things better.
By the way, we have four children.
Now between the ages of 13 and 25).
Very useful for "training" kids to open comics on Saturday morning and eat their own breakfast (
Yes, even a three-year-old can do that! ! ! )
Keep ourselves busy because at night we are usually too tired when the children are very young (
Just a hint for young parents).
In any case, interpersonal relationship is an effort, but it is worth it.
And it's not superficial at all.
I hope some of you will have more luck in future relationships.
My wife has never been interested in sex and has never learned anything about sex.
I love her for a lot of other reasons, but I go and have sex with a prostitute.
I will go crazy without them. 9. 9.
Married in 91 years and sexy in 17 years because of the recent neck surgery, it has now stopped. what a shame. .
Little Blue Pill from India plus a little male hormone . . . . . . She's 55 years old . . . . . . The other half is 84 years old and needs pills. . for sure. .
We really enjoyed being together. .
We have a relaxed environment for most things . . . . . . We may talk about what is good and so on, never stop . . . . . . Is CIs important for r B? Yes!
Should it be pleasant? Yes!
Should this be the decisive measure of happiness, marital sustainability, or loyalty? NO!
I have been married for more than thirty years.
In the first 20 years, my wife and I were not feeling enough with each other.
When we were in our forties, health problems changed our love life forever, but did not destroy or end our close relationship with each other.
My wife had to have a total uterine resection and I had type II diabetes.
These two things have greatly changed our pursuit of sex, but it has not ended our intimacy-in fact, it has forced and increased intimacy.
We're still having sex, not to mention.
But our feelings about each other and our connections are based on living together, mutual respect and love.
Our understanding is that we are not defined by our changing bodies, but by our lives --
Friendship and commitment to each other.
What makes me sad is that so many people feel their happiness, their marriage, their male and female temperament is implicitly defined by the secondary sexual organs they use frequently.
How sad and shallow.
We are brainwashed by the media and think that everyone is obsessed with sex. having good sex is the most important thing in life.
But in practice, sex is often disappointing, unpleasant, or physically uncomfortable for one or both parties.
This is certainly unsanitary, and it has disappointed a lot of people in our germaphobe era.
It includes the exchange of body fluids that may be quite disgusting.
Unless you are a celebrity, you may be embarrassed by people who are not very famous. than-
Your body has a pleasant look with its lumps and fat rolls, and frankly your partner will not win any beauty contests either.
I sometimes wonder if the men who watch porn when they are young will be shocked by the imperfect appearance of a real female body (
Especially middle-aged body! )
At the same time, women are shut down by the pain and lack of sexual skills of men, who decide that they really would rather have a good night's sleep than endure 30-
Sweat sweaty groped for 45 minutes. I think Dr.
Donnelly has ignored some of the reasons why people keep an unpleasant relationship.
Marriage is more than just a man and a woman.
Men, women, and future generations are all one.
Men and women have an obligation to each other, but they have a more compelling obligation to the children they bring to the world.
No matter what sacrifices I have to make, I can't imagine the pain of divorce that will bring to my children, and I can't imagine the pain of separation from them for myself or my wife.
The "social stigma" of divorce is not derived from outdated right-wing dogma, but from the eternal reality of family life.
About the first year, when we had children, my first marriage became almost unsexy.
It never reignited.
After about 10 years without sex (except alone)I divorced him.
I am now married to a man who has been with me for more than 10 years.
We're in our fifties, and we usually have sex. 3 times a week.
I have some problems with arthritis and pain, but we work around them because this intimacy is very important to me.
For completely spontaneous behavior, we are often too tired at night, but we plan the afternoon "lunch" together on a regular basis ".
These are my favorite.
I believe it depends on how much you value your sex life.
This is not important for some people.
With age and menopause, I found that the fun of the body has increased.
For women who claim their men are not interested in having sex with them: the reason is not that they are not attracted to you, it's your man who has "dug" out of his daily porn ritual.
Porn is a disease here, and next time you get a chance, just check out his internet history!
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